The Orange Butterfly
Hello everyone. My name is Lauren and I am 28 years old.
My life before my brain injury was chaotic and active, but I loved every part of it. I graduated university in 2015, and began working as a special education teacher, specializing in the Autism Spectrum. I enjoyed everything about my job and my responsibilities, and couldn’t imagine doing anything else with my life. I was a passionate dancer, studying ballet and Irish Dancing since the age of four. I competed in state and national championships every year for Irish Dancing, winning many team championships along the way. I was extremely dedicated to my ballet, working towards my exams each year, always wanting to be the best dancer I could be. Dancing has always been my way of expressing myself. I was also a part of a wonderful gym community, and I enjoyed getting up early before work to get to my gym classes every day. Going through my early 20s, I was always very social and loved going out with my friends.
My accident happened during one of my lunchtime yard duties on the playground. One of my students was stuck sitting on top of the climbing frame. On this day, I decided to climb up a couple of rails just to get a little closer to him. I pointed to where he needed to place his foot next, he did it, and again and again and again until he was down at my level. Before I could get back down to the ground, my student had hold of my top, and I lost my balance as he jumped safely to the ground next to me. I tumbled and hit the back left side of my head on a metal pole, and fell to the ground. That’s it. That’s all it took. Five minutes to change my entire life. A statement I very much was not aware of at the time.
I was taken to hospital and discharged later that day with a concussion, told to sleep and rest and that I’d be back at work the following week. But after a few days, we knew it was much more than that. I spent the next few weeks in bed unable to move or really function like a normal human being. I struggled to stay awake, always wanting to sleep. I started to notice a connection between the nausea I was experiencing and my eyes. I couldn’t watch TV, look at objects for a long time, or look around my bedroom without feeling terribly sick and having to sleep again. I could barely open my eyes to sit in the car on the way to the doctor. The headaches and migraines were starting to kick in. It was one of the strangest feelings to explain, I had never felt or experienced anything like it before. I found it hard to find words, to communicate properly, became very forgetful and very depressed. I felt so broken. I still looked like Lauren, and I think that was the most frustrating part of all, because no one could see how I was feeling on the inside. My injury was and remains physically invisible, and you just feel like screaming all the time!
Through numerous doctors, Neuro Physios, OT, psych assessments, and months of intensive rehabilitation, I was diagnosed with post concussion syndrome, vestibular ocular mismatch, occipital neuralgia, vestibular migraine, a milder case of diffuse axonal Injury, a loss of cervical lordosis, and I developed Idiopathic Hypersomnia (a form of Narcolepsy).
Two years have passed now, and honestly it’s been a massive struggle to get to where I am today, but I’m super proud of myself!! My job has always been about putting others before myself, the needs of my students and their families, but the last two years have taught me the importance of sometimes putting myself first and looking after my needs.
As much as I need to do that, I still wanted to reach out to others, help spread awareness and education throughout the community about brain injury, and support anybody going through the same things as me. There is a massive barrier in the community between individuals living with a brain injury and the wider community, and that is a lack of education and understanding. I decided to write a blog and share my story through a website and social media pages called The Orange Butterfly. The Orange Butterfly is all about new beginnings; finding both hope in healing, and heart in transformation. The Orange Butterfly seeks positivity in darkness and difficult changes, to emerge from setbacks with grace and beauty in our eyes. It is a reminder to embrace new life, pathways and challenges with faith.
I share my positive moments, as well as my dark moments, always trying to make sure my online community shows the reality of living with a brain injury every single day. I have been receiving so much positive feedback from the community, my blog has reached people from around the world, and I’m so happy my new life has created opportunities for me to still support and help others find their way as best I can!!!!